Performance Anxiety Antidote

My favorite orchestra just finished a performance of "Carmina Burana", which is one of my all-time favorite pieces. There was little stress for the string sections, as most of the score focuses on the percussion section and the choir. This is the only piece I've ever played where the strings can sit back and listen alot more than we have to work, and much of what we do play is simply repeated three times. I think I have the entire piece memorized!
Slava led the crew through effortlessly, and comments overheard from singers were entirely positive about working with him. He knows how to work with singers (as per diction, supporting sound, etc.), and did a marvelous job with the children's choir as well. It didn't hurt that both choirs were absolutely well prepared for the gig.
The vocal soloists were fabulous, and did a little acting to support their libretto. The audience responded with laughs, and performers and audience alike appreciated Slava's own humorous, physical interjections. He danced around a bit and made comical, grandiose gestures where appropriate, lending a very lighthearted feel to the whole show. All in all, I think it was the best-received performance of the season.
I have to contrast this with the last two times I was involved in this piece, once in my less-favorite orchestra and the other in my favorite orchestra but with a past conductor.......
Leopold was his usual stressed-out self, conducting as though attempting to stab the woodwinds into submission, and trying to force as much sound out of the small choir as possible. I seem to recall the poor tenor soloist having to go over and over his painfully high notes, face turning red, veins popping in his neck while Leopold tried to figure out how to coordinate with the choir. Tension, anyone?
Back a few years in my favorite orchestra, we had a most excellent conductor whom everyone loved and who, for the most part led us through wondrous musical adventures. He was not, however fond of working with singers, and even less fond of working with children. The persistent look of annoyance on his face whenever working on a choral masterpiece made the experience a bit less than wondrous....
Along came "Carmina", and with it a small children's choir. The fear and intimidation felt by this band of youth spread to the rest of the orchestra and choir for a truly stressful rendering of what is supposed to be a joyful celebration of love, spring, and inebriation. There are some things even in the highbrow world of classical music which should never be taken so seriously. I am grateful for having a third opportunity to get it right!

The restful, relaxing, happy atmosphere of our last concert week has put my mind more at ease with regards to my impending audition. The orchestral excerpts listed in the audition requirements are not all that difficult, and the solo which I have been preparing will work as the remainder of the material.
Technical prowess (speed and power) is clearly not the issue for this conductor, given his choices of excerpts, and I am actually feeling like experience will be on my side despite a lack of much formal higher education on my resume. This orchestra has never required a resume in the past for auditions, and while I was worried about submitting one this time around, it no longer seems like a roadblock.
I used to be terrified of playing alone in front of people, and the prospect of auditioning, of competing with others on top of that was almost unimaginable. The older I become however, the less I worry about what people think. That combined with increasing comfort with this conductor is making the proposition of auditioning for him seem like a rather fun thing. I am actually looking forward to it............................

Performance Anxiety: Part 2

Finally! The audition list is out, and I have decided to go for it. The vacant position is for principal cello, but my hopes are to be runner up to my colleague (a highly talented and deserving candidate). That would put me in the assistant principal spot. Bad news though, it would only be for the following season. The Assistant vacancy would have to be advertised and then officially auditioned for, next year (meaning I would have to go through this whole thing again).
I have to get a workout regimen in place now, to build up some stamina in my shoulders....Playing rigorously for only two weeks out of every month at the most doesn't do much for endurance, and my concerto definitely requires some wind.
Case in point, we just came out of four back-to-back weeks of concerts, which is unheard of in these parts. My back became sore to the touch in places it never has before, clavicles were sore, shoulders and neck were stiff and if not for some phenomenal deep tissue massages from my better half, I don't think I'd be able to play another note right now. 
The orchestral excerpts on the list are from pieces I've played in the past, and so nothing is unfamiliar. I will, however need to get these little monsters sounding crystal clear and up to tempo (yes, at the same time). I am singularly grateful that there are no Tchaikovsky tunes on the list.....That guy really liked uncomfortable scales!
I am in the process of cleaning up my office in an attempt at creating a relaxing workspace, and thanks to the four-week cluster of gigs just passed, I will have a solid month of nothing to perform. I can spend my practice time exclusively on audition material. I will also have to drive four hours to the nearest professional string repair shop to have my fingerboard planed, as the surface is getting to look like seersucker. I am almost afraid to pluck notes, as the twangs are getting pretty obvious. I really hope that the fingerboard is still thick enough to plane, otherwise it will cost over $400 to replace it altogether. I need new strings too, at $200 for the set. And then there is the accompanist.............Eeeee! This is getting expensive....I hope it will be worth it.