We as a species have a rather strange sense of value.
There are a number of things which factor into how we value something, some of which seem far removed from reality. Music is valued pretty much in any society, but at different levels. Classical music in Western culture is held as a "high art", and while benefactors of such art contribute generously to the institutions which promote its organization, the musicians who give life to compostitions are themselves rarely respected. That honor goes to the few really top-notch soloists, and some lesser players who are really good at self-promotion.
Pop culture definitely respects musicians, with a fervor unlike anything you will see for an opera. Singer-songwriters are elevated to demi-god status, spawning clothing, accessories and even childrens' toy lines. When people connect with a 3-minute long tune with a driving beat, that small, scruffy group of guitarists and drummers can make a fortune. Music that makes alot of folks feel good is apparently more profitable than music that is supposed to enlighten you. 
I am often asked by shoppers at craft fairs what my "best price" is on a piece of jewelry.....While I understand the desire to secure a bargain, the lack of understanding regarding the term "value added" sometimes pisses me off. It is true that one can find really cheap mass-produced jewelry at the mall, but which is largely produced in countries where a person's time and effort are not considered to be worth anything. To compare that stuff to individually handcrafted pieces in a place where we supposedly DO care about fair labor practices is a bit insulting. I'd like to think that the odd moments when my chaotic brain is lucid enought to create something entirely unique are worth something more than a bargain-basement price. So, you are willing to spend $75 on a ticket to see your favorite band in concert, but not for a solid sterling bracelet which took some poor Aspergian artist hours of labor and expensive tools, silver and gemstones to create (which you would be able to wear proudly for years to come)? Even more insulting is when the person wanting a discount can clearly afford what you are asking for your work.
Corporations have a very skewed view of the value of their employees. CEO's make salaries that are hundreds of times that of any of their workers, without whom the company would collapse. While I accept that CEO's do alot of hard work for their businesses, is the kind of work really so much more difficult that the wage gap has to be so astounding? Companies rely on a workforce to produce their product without which the company would not make any money, and the workforce relies on the company for jobs without which they wouldn't make any money either. It is a mutually beneficial relationship, but with a highly unfair and unbalanced dispersion of wealth. For the guy controlling the pursestrings to rationalize that he is somehow four hundred times more deserving of his pay than the people who physically create his saleable merchandise is not only ludicrous, it is criminal.
The executive directors and conductors of symphony orchestras (even the smaller, un-famous ones, and...Non-profit organizations, mind you) make significantly more money than the musicians who actually produce the sounds which bring people to the theatres to buy tickets. It is rationalized that these two people do such hard work that they deserve a six-figure salary, while the musicians subsist on only part-time work. No thought is given to the fact that no one in their right mind would buy tickets to see a conductor standing on a stage by himself, waving a baton around in complete silence. No matter his excellent training, he would look like a lunatic. The executive director would have nothing but a conductor to executively direct without the hours of practice and dedication of the players.
Musicians, however, can create music together whenever or wherever they so choose, whether they are getting paid for it or not. Our identity, at least will never be taken away from us, regardless of how we are valued by someone else. 

The creative process can come from one of two places...  

Discipline, or chaos. The disciplined artist has a goal in mind, and the skills to reach that goal through planning, preparation and patience. These photos are of works by disciplined artists...The Tiger is a watercolor by my father, and the quilt is by my mother-in-law.

Both of these people are organized and methodical, and achieve beautiful results through such an approach. 

I am of the School of Chaos.

I almost never have a design in mind when I begin work. Instead I scatter gemstones on my workbench like a voodoo priest would scatter chicken bones, hoping that they will speak to me in some way. First a shape may come to mind, and then I might draw some random lines within the shape on paper (if I can find a pencil). If that looks promising, I will make a bezel for the stone most appealing and plunge into cutting out layers of silver which sometimes ends up working nicely, other times not. I have managed to put together some interesting pieces out of previously unsuccessful attempts, but sometimes that has required leaving the scraps sitting on my bench for months. Getting in the way, and gathering dust.

I wish that I could be organized, and plan my material expenses and the use of my time, etc. My mind simply doesn't function that way. Even the word "function" is an overstatement. Entropy is the very definition of my daily life, and it is a struggle to accomplish much at all some days.

Whenever I have had conversations with people who are not involved in any sort of artistic endeavours, I invariably hear the "I wish I had talent like you" kind of comment. To those white-collar folks jealous of the artisan lifestyle, DON'T BE.

For the chaotic artist, life is usually one frustration after another, with little financial security and even less emotional stability. You think your life behind a desk is boring? I'll trade you. I do what my chromosomes tell me I'm supposed to do, but I do so kicking and screaming. If I were remotely good at math, I would go into banking and make myself a comfortable life. If I could trade my musical skills for a strong sense of discipline, I would do it in a heartbeat.

    

Tired............Oh, so tired..............
Just finished the first symphony week of the new season, and my body is telling me that getting home at midnight every night is not appreciated in the least. I have another solid week of the same schedule with the other orchestra of which I am a member, so no rest for the wicked.
It wouldn't be so bad if I could just sleep in the next day, but running a nonprofitable business takes effort and determination. And investing alot of anxiety.
Even getting home at midnight doesn't sound so bad, except that during some symphony weeks I don't get to bed until 1:30 or 2. My better half is an independent trucker, so when he is on the road our dogs get a very late dinner when I get home, and then I must administer multiple medications to our elderly one, which (of course) have to be spaced apart for efficacy.
Inasmuch as the renovations on the house have been a test of our relationship, weeks like this are sometimes worse. He is the kind of person who functions just fine on a few hours of sleep, but I need about twice as much, and tend to become a box of rocks when deprived for too long. When he is gone, I not only have to maintain my own business, but his as well. There are alot of details to put together in taking care of his customers, and communication breakdowns between truck-driver-on-a-tight-schedule and box- of-rocks can be unpleasant.
I can kind of understand how so many touring musicians get hooked on chemicals, with the kind of physically and emotionally demanding lifestyles they lead. It's unfortunate that coming to some kind of balance between getting lots of exposure and a healthy amount of rest doesn't seem workable.
I often think how cool it would be to get a gig touring with a band, but then common sense kicks in, reminding me that I am far from twenty-something with no obligations to worry about. My cello quartet is made up of four "over 40" women, and while we all get a kick out of playing rock-n-roll for very surprised restaurant patrons, three of us do realize that we are past the point of no return with regards to the idea of touring. THREE of us............Needless to say, the aspirations of the fourth stir up occasional friction.
I did have the opportunity to meet a guitarist from a local blues band over the weekend, and expressed my sincere desire to try my hand at playing in a band. Mentioning that I have my own pickup and an amp seemed to convince him that I was serious, and he asked where he could contact me. After a lengthy conversation, I am rather excited that he may actually be interested in the idea. Tiredness couldn't possibly have affected my sense of judgment, could it??     

     I haven't made any jewelry at all in the last month or so. My brain needed a break from attempting to create sublime yet powerful works of art, and so I've focused entirely on cleaning sawdust off of the kitchen cabinets every day. Our home is continually evolving, with my better half always busy detailing this corner or that. It can be a challenge to keep up with the messes that he makes in the process....Renovations are definitely a test of the strength of a relationship, and we've been tested for about five years now. Another, oh...three to go.....

   I will eventually have to force myself back to my workbench and start cranking out some stuff for the next craft show, which is always hard to do after not thinking about it for awhile. I make it more difficult, I think, by making mostly one-of-a-kind things. I see alot of artists doing a "theme and variations" with their work...Taking one stylistic idea and making several closely related versions. Whether or not that works well for them, I don't know. I just get bored with doing the same idea over and over (I even have trouble making pairs of earrings, because I have to make two of something).

   I have tried a little bit of torch-fired enameling, and hope that combining it with some fold-forming (thank you, Charles Lewton-Brain!!)  will get the cogs moving.  Making something with lots of color is most appealing, and not having to bezel-set alot of stones would be a relief.

   I taught myself some basic lapidary skills a few years ago hoping to fuel the imagination with interesting and unique minerals, but not having a large enough space for both lapidary equipment and a clean metalworking area, it got to be a hassle dragging the rock saws and grinding wheels out into the driveway whenever I felt like cutting. It is messy, dirty work, and I dislike spending alot of time cleaning up.

   Now I have a collection of mineral rough in buckets under my workbench into which small jewelry components that I've just painstakingly made always seem to fly. Time to get rid of some stuff, I think. Anyone out there want to buy a used slab saw?
      

Being a musician, I am surrounded by some pretty major ego (including my own). Ego manifests itself in a variety of ways, from insincere politeness to the prickliest sense of entitlement.

Some people pride themselves on always being the nicest person in the room, even at the expense of doing what is right. These folks avoid confrontation at all costs with a "Can't we all just get along??" kind of attitude, regardless of who will end up being taken for a ride.

Other individuals combine the knowledge that they are good at what they do with the understanding that they also don't have the stomach to play political games in order to get where they want to be. Such personalities sometimes end up becoming paranoid, feeling that their job performance is constantly being giggled at behind their back, while lesser-qualified personnel are promoted ahead of them. Resentment and low self esteem become the norm.

Still others adopt  "The Politic Mindset". This way of thinking tends to be adopted by those who know that they are not necessarily the best at what they do. These keenly conniving individuals learn the fine art of schmoozing, the most adept becoming so good at concealing their motives that any attempt to dislodge them from their acquired positions of influence leads to fierce retribution from unwitting followers.

Yet another group of personalities comprise those who really are better than anyone else around at what they do, and who are not shy about putting the rest of us in our places. 

Unfortunately for those who don't care to put up with any of the above nonsense and take it upon themselves to point out such flawed behavior, truthfulness simply serves to galvanize the delusional thinkers. Human beings apparently don't like to let go of selfish tendencies, especially when they are revealed by someone else.

All of this being said, while I am excited about beginning the new season in one of my symphony orchestras, I also feel a great sense of trepidation. Will our fantastic new conductor elicit an evolved consciousness within the ranks, elevating our performances to a point of nirvana? Will the guy distance himself from those seeking to unduly influence him with their constant fawning? Will he make those critical personnel decisions with an ear towards improving our quality of sound, or will he be sucked into the close-knit circle of cronies, bowing to those who have maintained their positions through being "indispensable" in non-musical ways?         

We can only hope for truth, justice and talent to prevail.

Rock-n-Roll vs Classical?

One of my symphony orchestras just finished doing a Led Zeppelin tribute show last weekend. In my opinion, it was a fabulous show, and a real buzz to play for. The audience seemed to be made up of a combination of regular symphony patrons and some hard core rock fans, with a good time had by all. Got several enthusiastic "great show!" comments from well-dressed baby boomers on my way out the stage door afterwards, proving that the generation that invented rock has not forgotten how to.
I have found that popular music genres, while mostly simplistic in their structure, can reach as deeply into my soul as the most wrenching performance of the Elgar Cello Concerto. When I was a college student I used to be a classical snob, turning my nose up at any other forms of music and wishing to physically flee any sensation of subwoofers......... until the day I got to play with the Moody Blues. Yep, "Nights in White Satin" resonating through my instrument made me a convert.
The feel of a throbbing bass line has alot more effect on you when you are the one producing the soundwaves. Suddenly, those bouncing, undulating masses of bodies in front of the stage became more than just hormone laden teens full of angst (okay, more like middle-aged bank tellers full of mid-life crises). They were acolytes of the "live for today" attitude, and they had hypnotized me. The primal rhythms and repeating refrains had surrounded my uptight ego and flayed it, exposing everything.
Subsequent shows with entertainers like Tony Bennett, George Benson and Doc Severinsen drew me into the jazz mentality, while performances with world-class mariachis such as Mariachi Vargas de Tecalitlan proved to me that there is beauty beyond words behind those conchos.
Still and all, I can't wait for my orchestra's first classical concert of this season. We have a brand new conductor at the helm who has already bewitched the crew with his handling of "The Stick". We'll be shredding Tchaikovsky in about three weeks, and I am ready to rock.