9:30 a.m.....Leaving for the auditions. Weekend Edition is on the radio, giving me something else to obsess over besides my performance. The Puzzlemaster's new challenge: Take the two-syllable name of an actress from the past, reverse the syllables to come up with a kind of illness. Okay, should be easy.....Bergman, Hepburn, Taylor, Fonda, Swanson, Fontaine, Loren, Andrews, Garbo....(okay, past could mean as recent as yesterday!).....
11:15 a.m.....Garland, Reynolds, Hennie, Davis, Crawford, Rogers, Evans....
11:30 a.m....Here I am, signing in to the audition. I feel good, no stress, no worry. The dressing rooms downstairs are all taken, so I will go upstairs to the chorus room to warm up. I'd rather be away from everyone anyway.
Going through every note slowly and quietly, just getting the muscles moving a bit. Make sure everything is perfectly in tune...
12:45 p.m....Fifteen minutes to go before the cello portion of the auditions begin, and I drew the next-to-last number. I feel warmed and comfortable, so I won't push it. I have some time to relax and wander around. I feel more prepared for this than for anything else I've ever played, and am not worried in the least.
1 p.m......I can hear some really good players warming up as I walk past the other dressing rooms. Definitely competition! As long as I play well, I don't really care how the results end up.
1:45 p.m......My turn....Here we go!
The stage is unlit except for one spotlight shining directly down onto a lone chair. There is a desk at one corner of the stage (why, I can't figure out), and the audition panel is behind a screen out in the house.
I sit down, set my music on the stand and my bow on the strings. All is well, until.........The first two chords of my Elgar concerto sound.....well..... fine I think, although the acoustics on this part of the stage are so very deadening. My breathing comes very near to a stop and my heart is thudding so loud that I am having trouble hearing my notes over the pounding in my ears.
I manage to get to the high note at the end of the fingerboard in tune, but with shaky vibrato. That is where I am asked to stop. Excerpts are next...Only three have been selected for this first round, and the hardest one has to be first....Damn!
I begin okay, but have taken the tempo a little too fast. My shoulders and hands begin to tighten, and I am finding it harder and harder to get any reasonable sound out of the instrument. I stumble over one measure as my left hand cramps completely. I am trying to play musically, but my strings are not responding to the increasing stiffness of my right hand.
I finish the first excerpt, and wait a moment to try and catch my breath. The next one is easy, but I start it with a scrape on the first note and my bow arm loses all strength. The sound is not good....
I manage to play the last excerpt relatively well, with one wobble towards the end. I grab my stuff and exit the stage as quickly as I can without tripping.......
I know that I won't make the next round, so I pack up and wait for the announcement. I'm right.............
I am not disappointed in the lack of advancement, but I am disappointed in my own inability to overcome nerves. Adrenaline is not my friend, even when I feel utterly prepared for a challenge. I had hoped it would be otherwise, but to no avail. I sounded pretty horrible, even though I know that I can play everything on that audition list perfectly.
I am relieved that the process is over now, as I have been thinking about it for over a year. I can get on with the rest of my life, and maybe focus more intently on something that nerves won't ruin. My business!
Resonance
Monday, May 19, 2014
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Summer Squash
'Tis the time of year that vegetable gardens are getting started. For anyone growing summer squash, soon you will be looking for ways to get rid of the unbelievably prolific fruits of your labor.
Neighbors will quickly adopt "duck-and-cover" techniques to avoid you, as you wander the streets trying to give away the armloads of zucchini and crookneck, some the size of small missiles because they stayed hidden for too long.
Freezing summer squash is possible, but not recommended. When it is thawed, it is very mushy and unappealing. Living in the desert Southwest, recipes abound for making use of these buggers, and I have come up with my own casserole......The recipe follows!
Summer Squash Surprise
3 small crookneck (yellow) squash, sliced into 1/2 inch pieces and parboiled for about 3 minutes (drain with slotted spoon...save water)
1/2 pkg spaghetti noodles, broken in half and boiled in water used to parboil squash, until almost al dente...drain (the noodles will continue to soften in the oven, mixed with the liquids so don't fully cook them now)
3/4 to 1 whole chub hot Italian sausage, cooked (cook a patty and chop it, or crumble while frying) and drained
1 medium onion, diced and sauteed in the grease from cooking the sausage
chopped garlic (amount to taste) added to sauteeing onions during the last minute or two
Chopped green chile to taste (we like alot of it, if it is freshly roasted rather than canned)
1 can diced tomatoes, or 1 large diced fresh (or a large handful of cherry tomatoes, halved)
1 to 1-1/2 cans tomato soup (depends on how sloppy you like it)
1/2 soup can water
1 to 1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
Mix together all ingredients except cheese and fill a 9 x 13ish-sized baking dish.
Top with cheese and bake in preheated 350 degree oven for about 1/2 hour or until bubbly and cheese is beginning to brown a little.
***Canned green chile tends to not be hot, if you are looking for mild flavor (and aren't chile-heads like we are)
***The idea of adding some batter-fried onions (think green bean casserole) mixed in with the cheese on top was suggested to me....I think I will try it next time! *I did try it...turned out yummy!
The surprise part of "Squash Surprise" is in how much of each ingredient you choose to use, and in what else you can think of to add to it. Leftover corn works just fine....
Enjoy!
Neighbors will quickly adopt "duck-and-cover" techniques to avoid you, as you wander the streets trying to give away the armloads of zucchini and crookneck, some the size of small missiles because they stayed hidden for too long.
Freezing summer squash is possible, but not recommended. When it is thawed, it is very mushy and unappealing. Living in the desert Southwest, recipes abound for making use of these buggers, and I have come up with my own casserole......The recipe follows!
Summer Squash Surprise
3 small crookneck (yellow) squash, sliced into 1/2 inch pieces and parboiled for about 3 minutes (drain with slotted spoon...save water)
1/2 pkg spaghetti noodles, broken in half and boiled in water used to parboil squash, until almost al dente...drain (the noodles will continue to soften in the oven, mixed with the liquids so don't fully cook them now)
3/4 to 1 whole chub hot Italian sausage, cooked (cook a patty and chop it, or crumble while frying) and drained
1 medium onion, diced and sauteed in the grease from cooking the sausage
chopped garlic (amount to taste) added to sauteeing onions during the last minute or two
Chopped green chile to taste (we like alot of it, if it is freshly roasted rather than canned)
1 can diced tomatoes, or 1 large diced fresh (or a large handful of cherry tomatoes, halved)
1 to 1-1/2 cans tomato soup (depends on how sloppy you like it)
1/2 soup can water
1 to 1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
Mix together all ingredients except cheese and fill a 9 x 13ish-sized baking dish.
Top with cheese and bake in preheated 350 degree oven for about 1/2 hour or until bubbly and cheese is beginning to brown a little.
***Canned green chile tends to not be hot, if you are looking for mild flavor (and aren't chile-heads like we are)
***The idea of adding some batter-fried onions (think green bean casserole) mixed in with the cheese on top was suggested to me....I think I will try it next time! *I did try it...turned out yummy!
The surprise part of "Squash Surprise" is in how much of each ingredient you choose to use, and in what else you can think of to add to it. Leftover corn works just fine....
Enjoy!
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Hasta la Septiembre
Ahhhhh.................The symphony season is essentially over, for both of my orchestras. While I wouldn't at all mind a couple more major concerts with my favorite group, I am relieved to say adios to the other for now. I am not the only musician to express disappointment in that particular orchestra being our last big show of the season, for any one of the reasons griped about in previous blog posts. Shall I refresh your memory?
Don't get me wrong, it is always a pleasure to perform for the lovely audiences which we have in both venues. It just feels like we are shortchanging one audience in particular by not doing justice to so many wonderful compositions, and that bothers me. It also bothers me that these concerts are less about the music and more about "Leopold the Incorrigible".
A couple of years ago, the brochures advertising an upcoming season were most definitely vehicles for the Leopold Show, rather than for a symphony orchestra. His countenance was omnipresent throughout. Literally, every page had some goofy, contrived image of our fearless leader.....One even had him "playing" a giant chile pepper. This year, he's dressed in a disco outfit on one page, and on another he has his arms outstretched in a "Here I am!! Look at Me!!" sort of pose. This isn't remotely about music.
So, back to our last concerts of the season. We performed an orchestrated version of the Liszt Hungarian Dance #2, to cover the loud and fast portion of the show. No big deal...the piece sort of plays itself. We probably could have done it without him except for the few tempo changes. Typical of at least one piece in every concert, the last couple of notes of a phrase were cut off in order to proceed quickly to the next section, although in this case, Leopold said it was intentional....because it "interfered" with the clarinet's little cadenza right after it (even though those notes were leading tones which guide the listeners' ears into the clarinet cadenza). Who needs to play what's written, anyways? In condescending fashion, during our first rehearsal he felt the need to explain that this piece was originally for piano and asked if anyone was familiar with it. One smart-ass raised his hand and said, "Yeah! It's from Tom and Jerry!".
The Mendelssohn Violin Concerto was next, with a young soloist who had little experience performing the piece (or, so it felt). She wasn't quite comfortable with a couple of spots, note-wise, and there wasn't a shred of musicality in the whole work. It was at the "I've got the notes learned, but not the music" juncture. During our two rehearsals with her, she consistently left out a beat right before an orchestra entrance, throwing everything off. Our conductor, true to form, had no clue that she was screwing up and blamed us for not being able to count. Thankfully, she got it right during the performances.
Prior to our rehearsals with the soloist, the phrase "She's gonna go like the wind, I just know it" was uttered (as is usual with regards to any soloist we are going to play with), and the only part of the piece which ultimately went like the wind was the slow movement.
Last on the program was a Brahms symphony, and I have to say that I was dreading it the whole season. I love Brahms, when it is done right. This guy has no idea where to find "right". For him, conducting is about waving his arms furiously, making intensely constipated faces, shouting "............TWO!!!!" (as in, "this is beat two, you idiots!"), sweating all over his string players and making sure that we play exactly at his desired metronome markings whether musically appropriate or not.
Brahms needs thoughtfulness and gravity, not sweat.
Leopold decided to push the tempo of one movement a lot faster during our dress rehearsal (in front of an audience, no less), causing sloppiness and many missing notes. A much-respected member of the group apparently spoke to him about it, and as punishment, the entire symphony was taken slower during the concerts. A forty-five minute piece ended up being over an hour long, and unendingly boring. Along those lines, another orchestra member tried to get him to not schedule our concert weeks back-to-back with our other orchestra as is the way it tends to happen. She used the rationale that he was getting "sloppy seconds" whenever we had concerts the very next week after the other venue. Instead of giving us the break between concert weeks that she had hoped to accomplish, he instead ensured that all of next seasons' concerts would be set the week before the other orchestra's. He can't ever be reasonable, only belligerent.
In the end, our concerts are all about Leopold putting on a show of astounding upper-body stiffness, an impressive command of beating on something and an intense display of obvious virility. He apparently wants to resemble a walking hard-on (and doing a damn fine job of it). I am hoping that our audiences respond as well as they do because they truly are enjoying the music, and not because they get a kick out of the pointless gyrations on the podium. I will give them the benefit of the doubt......................
Don't get me wrong, it is always a pleasure to perform for the lovely audiences which we have in both venues. It just feels like we are shortchanging one audience in particular by not doing justice to so many wonderful compositions, and that bothers me. It also bothers me that these concerts are less about the music and more about "Leopold the Incorrigible".
A couple of years ago, the brochures advertising an upcoming season were most definitely vehicles for the Leopold Show, rather than for a symphony orchestra. His countenance was omnipresent throughout. Literally, every page had some goofy, contrived image of our fearless leader.....One even had him "playing" a giant chile pepper. This year, he's dressed in a disco outfit on one page, and on another he has his arms outstretched in a "Here I am!! Look at Me!!" sort of pose. This isn't remotely about music.
So, back to our last concerts of the season. We performed an orchestrated version of the Liszt Hungarian Dance #2, to cover the loud and fast portion of the show. No big deal...the piece sort of plays itself. We probably could have done it without him except for the few tempo changes. Typical of at least one piece in every concert, the last couple of notes of a phrase were cut off in order to proceed quickly to the next section, although in this case, Leopold said it was intentional....because it "interfered" with the clarinet's little cadenza right after it (even though those notes were leading tones which guide the listeners' ears into the clarinet cadenza). Who needs to play what's written, anyways? In condescending fashion, during our first rehearsal he felt the need to explain that this piece was originally for piano and asked if anyone was familiar with it. One smart-ass raised his hand and said, "Yeah! It's from Tom and Jerry!".
The Mendelssohn Violin Concerto was next, with a young soloist who had little experience performing the piece (or, so it felt). She wasn't quite comfortable with a couple of spots, note-wise, and there wasn't a shred of musicality in the whole work. It was at the "I've got the notes learned, but not the music" juncture. During our two rehearsals with her, she consistently left out a beat right before an orchestra entrance, throwing everything off. Our conductor, true to form, had no clue that she was screwing up and blamed us for not being able to count. Thankfully, she got it right during the performances.
Prior to our rehearsals with the soloist, the phrase "She's gonna go like the wind, I just know it" was uttered (as is usual with regards to any soloist we are going to play with), and the only part of the piece which ultimately went like the wind was the slow movement.
Last on the program was a Brahms symphony, and I have to say that I was dreading it the whole season. I love Brahms, when it is done right. This guy has no idea where to find "right". For him, conducting is about waving his arms furiously, making intensely constipated faces, shouting "............TWO!!!!" (as in, "this is beat two, you idiots!"), sweating all over his string players and making sure that we play exactly at his desired metronome markings whether musically appropriate or not.
Brahms needs thoughtfulness and gravity, not sweat.
Leopold decided to push the tempo of one movement a lot faster during our dress rehearsal (in front of an audience, no less), causing sloppiness and many missing notes. A much-respected member of the group apparently spoke to him about it, and as punishment, the entire symphony was taken slower during the concerts. A forty-five minute piece ended up being over an hour long, and unendingly boring. Along those lines, another orchestra member tried to get him to not schedule our concert weeks back-to-back with our other orchestra as is the way it tends to happen. She used the rationale that he was getting "sloppy seconds" whenever we had concerts the very next week after the other venue. Instead of giving us the break between concert weeks that she had hoped to accomplish, he instead ensured that all of next seasons' concerts would be set the week before the other orchestra's. He can't ever be reasonable, only belligerent.
In the end, our concerts are all about Leopold putting on a show of astounding upper-body stiffness, an impressive command of beating on something and an intense display of obvious virility. He apparently wants to resemble a walking hard-on (and doing a damn fine job of it). I am hoping that our audiences respond as well as they do because they truly are enjoying the music, and not because they get a kick out of the pointless gyrations on the podium. I will give them the benefit of the doubt......................
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